The Soul Eaters
Supernatural Thriller with Martial Arts
In spite of their differences, an eclectic group of individuals trapped in Outer Darkness work together to escape a crumbling world.
“Don’t miss the curfew!”
(A sequel to Sherrill Wark's novel, Graven Images)
The 2017 PAGE Awards
Quarterfinalist.
(The recommendations for changes were made so no reason to include them here as they no longer apply.)
Judges' Feedback (two)
Title: THE SOUL EATERS
Script # 17-1330JF3
1 . What is the writer trying to achieve in this script?
A group of souls attempts to escape to a higher level of Outer Darkness while being pursued by an evil group of souls known as Soul Eaters.
2. In what ways is the writer successful at
achieving his/her goals?
I thought this was an interesting and thought provoking script. You did a wonderful job reimagining the afterlife from the per- spective of the dead, dividing Outer Darkness into different levels of good and evil.
I also think you did a solid job creating a wide assortment of characters and letting me know what they’d done in life and how they actually died –-- showing there was a clear and distinct division between the Soul Eaters and the inhabitants of the Community Center.
What I liked most about the script was that you redefined the afterlife. Hell was at the very bottom levels and Heaven was at the top, and one could advance to different levels depending on his/her actions. And you connected everything to the book of Enoch, which provided a strong foundation.
It seems every soul had a chance to redeem itself, which is a wonderful message.
Your main protagonists, Gary and Netta, were great lead characters and fun to follow through the netherworld. I liked that Gary was a cop and that Netta was a woman who was murdered by her jealous husband. It made Gary naturally want to protect her, and her to be drawn to him, and it was great to find out there’s still sex in Heaven.
Your supporting characters, the residents of the Community Center, Wyndham, the higher level Quigley, Barb, Lou, Tully, Abigail, Aggie, Earlene, Paul, Danica, Tammy, Fred, and all the others, including the little kids, were well written and made an eclectic group. What I liked was how they all worked together and took care of one another, making sure the evil Soul Eaters kept their distance and didn’t get them.
Your antagonists, the Soul Eaters, Aaron, Bob, Jimmy, the traitorous Martin, Velvet, Harry, Olaf, Gracie, Iris, Zelda, Jeff, and the many Groupies, were truly a despicable bunch, espe- cially with their ability to drain soul energy from anyone they came in contact with.
What really worked was how the levels of Outer Darkness had collapsed giving the Soul Eaters a chance to feed. Outer Darkness was like a war zone with the Community Center being the fortress of good.
As for your story, I think you did a decent job pitting the two sides against one another. And the mood was incredibly tense as the levels of Outer Darkness continued to collapse, even- tually driving everyone to find the portal to the next level.
And I really liked how the only way you could get to the next level was to leave your possessions and the things you loved behind. It made for a strong ending, one with a powerful message.
Title: THE SOUL EATERS
Script # 17-1330JF3
1. What is the writer trying to achieve in this script?
You’re going for riveting supernatural thriller about a world within the circles of hell, a world in which trapped souls must navigate different rules and alliances.
This is a story which aims for mainstream audience appeal, in the vein of FLATLINERS, and you aim for a story that embraces the supernatural while exploring characters and world-building.
2. In what ways is the writer successful at
achieving his/her goals?
You have a fascinating world that hasn’t been quite portrayed like this on screen yet. Similar to the seven circles of hell, your script creates a compelling and haunting version of life after death, and you have interesting world-building here, with a lot of specificity that makes your world feel rich with texture and detail.
The character dynamics are solid, and you’ve set up strong sexual tension and resentment between Gary, Netta, and Paul in a love triangle.
The attraction between Gary and Netta is palpable from the beginning, and you also do a great job of conveying the jeal- ousy and resentment that Paul feels towards them. In many ways, these human emotions keep them feeling grounded and human in a world that could easily be too foreign to most audiences.
The premise is strong, and you have a concept that is not only rich with visual potential, but also one that has strong com- mercial appeal and a hook that can easily draw audiences.
With its similarity to the seven circles of hell as well as an original vision of life after death, you have a concept that feels original and intriguing.
The structure is solid, and you display a good grasp of three-act structure. The first act sets up the concept and characters, and the script progresses towards a climax in which they must escape that world and enter the next level or be destroyed.
Colony Mars: Tourist Season
YA, SciFi, Action Adventure
(a sequel to Colony Mars: The Dahlgrin Dilemma)
The inhabitants of Mars, descendants of Earthlings from centuries ago, are surprised to learn that Earthlings on several space ships are begging for permission to land.
Maureen Joins 'Hood Watch
(a sequel to the print book Maureen Tries Online Dating)
Senior, Thriller, Horror
Retired Emergency Department nurse, Maureen, decides to volunteer at a strange new women's shelter run by a brilliant doctor from Texas, who has recently lost her license and who likes to perform organ transplant experiments on the abusive spouses of those in her care.
Do not --- I repeat, do NOT --- breathe a word of this
to anyone!
Off the 'Skids
Horror
Wanting to help his grandmother increase production of her famous zucchini-raspberry muffins, Razzy takes his gene-altering genius one step further by attempting to add the extremely fast-growing duck weed to the combo.
But he accidentally swats at a mosquito while rolling pollen into the Petri dish. Oops.
